Body Shaming has to stop!

Does this photo look like I’m wearing shorts that are too small? Does it look like my a** is hanging out? Because apparently all of the above is true. According to a woman body shaming and bullying me from behind her computer screen.

This weekend I stumbled across a blog in which someone was body shaming me. It hurt. A lot. My emotions ranged from shock, to anger but settled with sadness. Why was this woman, who I’ve never met and don’t know, saying that I wear a “size too small bun huggers.” Calling me the, “Unknown woman whose ass was hanging out of her shorts.” So much for unknown woman, as she includes a link to the race results in her posts and states what place I finished. Another woman commented on her post saying, “Bun huggers…yeah..I was surprised to see her on the first lap and actually still competing in the second but with more of her ass hanging out.” My thoughts on this comment ranged from, why are you surprised? Because of what I was wearing? Or because of my size? Or both?

I’ve never been a small or skinny runner. I’ve always been more of a strength runner. I have curves. I have boobs and a butt. My legs are strong. Why does anyone think it’s okay to talk about another person this way? Especially today, a woman shaming another woman. When both of us were out there doing what we love – running a race. Why make fun of someone’s racing gear, or more importantly the person’s body? For a laugh in a blog? Really. SO sad. The more I thought about it the more I realized how much her words could hurt someone. I happen to be a very strong person. But what if I wasn’t? What if my self-confidence was like that of close friends of mine during my teenage years who suffered with eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder? Her words would send someone into a tailspin. Take it from me – I feel bad for her. She spent her energy mocking me and lying about me. Running is supposed to bring people together for the joy & pain it brings. For the rush of endorphins, for the drive to be your best and the understanding between runners on all the sacrifices that go into training. Because after all when we run, aren’t we really just running against ourselves? Striving to be a faster version of ourselves? Seeking to be our best. To give it our all. It doesn’t matter what place you finish in a race, what you’re wearing or your time – what matters is knowing deep down if you pushed your body to your limits. And on the race day when you do and when you surpass them — that right there, is why I love running. It never was about “flaunting my ass” as she says. It’s about rising to the courses challenge. And it sure as hell isn’t about judging our competition by their clothes, shape or size. Let’s be better than that. Let’s push each other. Let’s support each other. Let’s treat everyone the way we want to be treated. Have you been body shamed? Please leave what happened in the comments and how you dealt with it. Let’s stand together and spread positivity. Let’s talk about other women’s successes. Let’s talk about our strength as women. United as one we brighten the future – let’s do that. Below I continue to break down what she said and the reality of the situation. BUT know this, I will never again, ever again, bother with reading her blog. Like I said I found it by accident searching to Lil Rhody Runaround Race Results. #positivevibesonly #runhappy #strongnotskinny

Some more details on false statements in her post: Here are her comments. My response immediately follows with the non-highlighted text. Again, remember prior to seeing her blog I did not know who she was.

This was from her post on Run with the Beavers Trail Race (July 2018):

Once we started it was a mass of people running through the field much like the smaller version of a cross country race start…except this time only ONE woman wearing a size too small bun huggers was in front of me. Hmmm. Who is this and why is she keeping up with Kassandra? As we turned onto the dirt road she put quite the gap on me right away. I was kind of stuck in a big crowd of guys which wasn’t good since I knew some of them would slow way down once we hit the single track. It happens every year. And this year was no exception, except that included in the mix ahead of me was this unknown woman whose ass was hanging out of her shorts. I could pretend that I was horrified, but no. In fact I was super jealous. If I looked like that, I’d wear XS bun huggers with my ass hanging out, too. If you got it, flaunt it. 

During the race I wasn’t even wearing bun huggers. I was wearing Brooks Elite Women 2 Inch Boy Shorts in a size medium. They weren’t size XS. I’ve never been an XS in my life! Usually, I do wear bun huggers. Why? Because I’m comfortable running in them. They stay put. They don’t ride up. They don’t cause chaffing. I wore the boy shorts during that race because they were new, and I wanted to switch it up. Back to buns for me (for races over 8 miles). I get awful chaffing from many brands of spandex shorts if I wear them over 10-12miles. I don’t have this issue with bun huggers. Never once in my life have, I wanted to flaunt my body while running. Whether it’s an everyday training run, track workout, road race or trail race – there are so many thoughts going through my head, of which I guarantee flaunting my ass is not. That is just funny!

This was her post on the Lil Rhody Runaround 8 mile Trail Race (November 2018):

There were two other women there who I assumed would beat me no matter what so I had no interest in racing since I didn’t care where I finished today.

So, remember… she knew I was there before being reminded by “my ass.”

Once we lined up on the line, the cocky woman stood in front of everybody fixing her shoes and then walked to the start line. She looked familiar. Once she proceeded to bend over many times to stretch pointing her ass at every one, I remembered! It was the woman whose ass was hanging out of her shorts at the Beavers race! Today, she was at least covered up, but funny that her ass-showing is what made me remember her. Not that I was purposely staring either time. For some reason it just ended up right in front of me both times. She did a stride, came back to the line and purposely made eye contact with me to give me a confident, cocky look. I wanted to chuckle, but I held back. I was like 6 rows back and didn’t give two shits whether she beat me or not. Pretty amusing, though, after she turned back around, Steve Brightman had stepped into her spot on the line which forced her into the second row.

I jogged over to the starting line and stretched off to the side. I arrived at the race late. I registered maybe 15 minutes before it started. My coach had told me to drop to the 4 mile race if it seemed like it would be tough terrain. My goal race of the fall and last big race of 2018 is the Xterra World Trail 21km Championships. That race was exactly 2 weeks from this race. SO, this race was a training tempo run – I was not there to race. I didn’t know what to expect, besides being told there were some rocky climbs. Based on this I stayed with the 8 mile race. Yes, I did go to the front of the line before the race started. I stretched, which most people do before races. I reached for my toes, I stretched my hips from side to side. I stretched my quads. I was not trying to show my ass to the people in the field. I did a stride – I do strides at all races. And then I settled into the 2nd row to start. Maybe I looked at the writer of this blog – but I can’t help but laugh here – I had no idea who she was – so not sure how I could give her a look. And I’m cocky because I went to the front? I finished 16th overall and 1st woman. I think by being in the 2nd row I was where I should have been. There is nothing cocky about positioning yourself where you should be. On Thanksgiving Day, I ran a turkey trot. I was in the first row (4th overall, 2nd woman) and noticed a guy was in the second row who I saw warming up and doing strides – he moved effortlessly and was fast. I told him to take my spot. He did. He said thanks. He won the race. That’s who I am at race starts. I’m not the cocky woman.

The other woman I knew would be fast was a young college xc runner. Her results were pretty decent, but I wondered if she would be able to hang past the 3 mile mark.

At least she doesn’t shame the other woman she was worried about….

As soon as we entered the woods again, we started to hit the slippery bog bridges, and I found myself right behind the first two women who seemed to struggle on these. They slowed everyone down for sure, including me, but I was probably only 5 seconds behind them at this point. Once the course became dirt again, they both increased their lead. Mile 3 is quick in parts, but still has a few inclines in there and I found myself once again right behind them. Once we start mile 4, the course is mostly easy and fast. I continued to push myself as fast as I could since I wanted to give 100% of my effort, but I could feel that my actual pace was much slower than it felt. Still, all of a sudden, the second woman (the xc girl) started falling back to me and right at mile 3.6, I passed her easily.

The bridges – they were awful. Ha, I had no traction on them. It had been cold and rainy – so they were wet and icy (in some spots). I almost went flying on the first one and made a comment about them. The guy behind me said he didn’t have traction either and told me later in the race there were less bridges. I told him I had a big race in 2 weeks and wasn’t about to break a leg on these. Yes, I slowed down but also gave the option to pass me. The other girl (XC runner as she calls her), slipped pretty bad but caught herself before falling. I immediately asked if she was okay – she said yes. So, I find it doubtful that I slowed down the rest of the field. I actually started running in the water next to the bridges after about the 3rd bridge. I could run faster and didn’t have to worry about slipping off the wooden bridges. So again, people could’ve flown by since I wasn’t even on the bridges.

So at this point, I was certain of finishing 2nd female unless someone caught me which was possible. I slowed significantly through miles 5-7. But, still, I was consistently within 10-15 seconds of the 1st woman. My technical skills were better so I could keep up, but any fast, easy trail, she put on a decent gap. It was just interesting how I ran behind her the entire way without even trying. 

Probably because I wasn’t trying either. I love running races as workouts. This was a training race, a tempo – the real race was 2 weeks later. This was my first time running in Brooks Pure Grit trail flats. It was a test to see if I should wear them in Hawaii. (AND they are amazing…. besides the bridges which no one had traction on – they were perfect. I like them much better than the Mazama. I will be wearing the Pure Grits in Hawaii.) Around mile 4-5? I did see a glimpse of a woman a ways back. After that I never saw her again. This race was a solid tempo. I felt great the entire time. This run showed my training has paid off and I’m excited to lay it all out there and not hold anything back in Hawaii.